Thanks IBM support chat. You are the worst.


The following is a completely real chat between me and IBM Websphere is fucking terrible

Chat InformationPlease wait for your IBM Sales Consultant to respond.
Chat InformationYou are now chatting with ‘Brian P.’
you: Hi Brian
you: I have a quick question about the eCommerce Edition of Websphere
Brian P.: Welcome to IBM’s Pre-Sales Chat.
you: I’m compiling a report regarding the features of websphere
you: I want to know if Jquery sliders, as well as other Jquery features are enabled by default
Brian P.: To be honest, your best bet is to use Google.
Brian P.: It is the easiest way to find information
Brian P.: I used IBM Websphere%Jquery sliders and found information
you: What is google?
you: Sorry, what is a google?
Brian P.:
you: is this a feature of websphere?
Brian P.: No, it is an application online that helps you find information
you: so if I buy websphere, I will get this google
Brian P.: Sterling Commerce was execellent at adding information to the web
Brian P.: No, Google is a search engine for information
you: So how do I buy a google
Brian P.: Google is a search engine only
Brian P.: Go to
Brian P.: For information only
you: I just had a word with my boss, and she is very interested in buying a google for our enterprise
you: How much is this engine?
Brian P.: This search engine is free
Brian P.: go to
you: We do want the IBM google
you: We don’t trust such an unknown company, we prefer to work with IBM
Brian P.: Ok, may I have your name, company name, and address?
you: Thank You Brian P, I have all the information I require. much success.

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