Thanks IBM support chat. You are the worst.

 

The following is a completely real chat between me and IBM Websphere support.ibm is fucking terrible

Chat InformationPlease wait for your IBM Sales Consultant to respond.
Chat InformationYou are now chatting with ‘Brian P.’
you: Hi Brian
you: I have a quick question about the eCommerce Edition of Websphere
Brian P.: Welcome to IBM’s Pre-Sales Chat.
you: I’m compiling a report regarding the features of websphere
you: I want to know if Jquery sliders, as well as other Jquery features are enabled by default
Brian P.: To be honest, your best bet is to use Google.
Brian P.: It is the easiest way to find information
Brian P.: I used IBM Websphere%Jquery sliders and found information
you: What is google?
you: Sorry, what is a google?
Brian P.: www.google.com
you: is this a feature of websphere?
Brian P.: No, it is an application online that helps you find information
you: so if I buy websphere, I will get this google
Brian P.: Sterling Commerce was execellent at adding information to the web
Brian P.: No, Google is a search engine for information
you: So how do I buy a google
Brian P.: Google is a search engine only
Brian P.: Go to www.google.com
Brian P.: For information only
you: I just had a word with my boss, and she is very interested in buying a google for our enterprise
you: How much is this engine?
Brian P.: This search engine is free
Brian P.: go to www.google.com
you: We do want the IBM google
you: We don’t trust such an unknown company, we prefer to work with IBM
Brian P.: Ok, may I have your name, company name, and address?
you: Thank You Brian P, I have all the information I require. much success.

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